The IndyCar Racing experience live in your very own home

One of our loyal listeners and serial letter writers to 'Midweek Motorsport', Doug Werner, has some thoughts on this weekend at Iowa. Doug and his wife are having a magnificent internecine battle in the points standings of the MWM Fantasy League and they both seem to be taking it VERY seriously.

You can tune into the show live tonight at 8pm UK (3pm EST) at www.radiolemans.com or catch the podcast at any time on the site or from iTunes (search words 'Radio Le Mans). We have 2009 Le Mans winner, David Brabham joining us tonight alon with Nick Wirth of the brand new F1 team, Manor Motorsport.

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It’s finally time for my favorite IndyCar race of the year, The Iowa Corn 250 powered by Brazilian Sugar Cane or as I like to think of it, the Moonshine 250. It is a real shame that the ABC is broadcasting this race. This track and locale were meant for Versus TV. Imagine the Versus TV triple header. Phil Liggett and Paul Sherwen broadcast the Methane 100 from the Iowa Speedway/Velodrome/Rodeo Ring/Tractor Alignment Center. Immediately following the race, cars replace the bikes and the Green flag is dropped commencing the Moonshine 250 powered by Brazilian Cachaca. At the conclusion of another Jack Arute interview comparing Danica’s 5th place finish to a dramatic win by the late, great Emerson Fittipaldi, [sic] we are off to the Main Event on the infield of the Iowa Speedway. The feature event is the triumphant return to bull riding of PBR’s very own Ryan Dirteater, the Scott Speed of professional Bull riding. The packed crowd goes wild.

And truly the crowd will be “packed.” The stands will be “full.” The facility will be “at capacity.” But don’t be fooled into believing that that is the same as a large crowd. Put one person in a phone booth and it is “at capacity.” Put two in and it is officially “packed.” Unfortunately, like the number of TV viewers, it is still just two. The truth is Rusty Wallace created his own miniature Daytona Speedway by putting a high school grandstand in front of a paved horse track with added banking. There will be a crowd, just not as big as that of a 7-on-7 football game on Friday night. What else is there to do this time of year? The State Fair is not for another 8 weeks.

If you can’t be there to witness the parade or watch it on TV here is how you can experience the “fun” at home. You will need a quarter painted red, one painted white, a large bowl, a stool and two posters of Danica. Go to the corner of a room and hang the two posters. Sit down on a stool facing the corner with the bowl in your hands. While moving the bowl in a circular motion, roll the quarters on their edge in the bowl keeping them going by gently sustaining the motion. Continue this while staring into the bowl until you start to feel nauseous. At this point, it is time for a commercial break. While still swirling your racers in the bowl, carefully look up at the posters and stare at each one for thirty seconds. Everyone once in a while mutter, “You deserve respect. You deserve respect.” Repeat until you lose the will to live. Stop swirling the bowl. The last quarter rolling wins. If it is red, Target Chip Ganassi wins. If it is white, Penske does. If they turn into five dimes, Danica wins. Congratulations! You have just enjoyed another ABC broadcast. Go take a walk and get some fresh air.

Let’s face it, this track is so small it should be a cage match, not an IndyCar race. The only question left is who will “tap out” first. This week it might be me.

Emerson Fittipaldi was not harmed in any manner in the writing of this blog. He is happily alive at home watching Professional Bull Riding on Versus.