More tremendous nonsense from guest blogger Doug Werner
INDIANAPOLIS -
The Indianapolis Motor Speedway in conjunction with Indy Car Series is proud to announce that the 93rd running of the Indianapolis 500 has been officially recognized by the Guiness Book of World Records as the World’s Fastest Parade. The new parade speed record is now 150.318 mph, just edging out the previous mark held by the 2007 Iranian Gay Pride Parade in downtown Tehran.*
“This is really a special moment for us at IMS,” stated Tony George. This has been a long time coming and it is great to see that we were able to accomplish this on the 100th Anniversary of this special place. We have been working toward this moment for almost 15 years With the careful addition of particular street and road courses we have been getting close. Last year’s race at Infineon Raceway in Sonoma is a great example and I think we really opened some eyes to what we can do this year at Long Beach. But we haven’t been able to achieve the same kind of consistency on our ovals. I would like to thank Brian Barnhart for helping make this happen. The last rule change making a common spec wheelbase proved to be the real clincher.”
“I was real concerned that Dan Wheldon and Townsend Bell would spoil the moment for us but after reading Paragraph 3, section C of the Parade Manual, I knew we had it in the bag.”
Paragraph 3 allows for some changes in the parade order should servicing or assistance be required of the parade participants.
“I would like to extend my thanks to my family. Without their untold millions, I would not have been able to bring the series to where it is today. With the mix of ovals, street and road courses, and the Firestone Indy Lights series so full of foreign talent, I think we are really on the verge of having the perfect series. This is exactly what I had envisioned when I formed the Indy Racing League. Our focus going forward will be on consistency.”
"We were thinking that the ICS would be a lock for the World's Greatest Tragedy in Motorsports History category as well, but it looks like my friend Max is making a push for that again this year after his attempt two tears ago. We have been assured by the panel of experts that we are still in the running and that a decision won't be made until later this year which gives us some time to make adjustments."
“I know a lot of fans want to see us back in Cleveland . The airport course doesn’t really fit our current model but we are trying to see if we can get a street course on the cobble stone lanes of Shaker Heights, a suburb of Cleveland . We should have more exciting announcements shortly.”
*The 2007 Iranian Gay Pride Parade will now be recognized as the fastest parade on a street course.
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